Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in stork690's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 12th, 2005
1:33 am	Alright, so there is this book, and it's about a kid who is living the lives of others. Maybe you could refer it to a schitzo or something like that and so when he's "out and about", as they would say in some lame modern day sitcom about 3 gays males living with one female, 2 kids, a dog and cat. In public he focuses greatly on what is occuring around him, remembering nothing, except the times when a smile came onto another person's face. Would you call it a mental disorder if his only concern is the happiness of others? While some would refer to it as so, there are others, for example members of the church, who would label such a person a saint. But lets try not to get too involved in the angre of how modern America is so screwed up that people begin to believe in the kinds of thoughts that there are 2 realities intermingling among each other, and that by going cross eyed one was able to somehow peer through this seamless division and imagine themselves as opposite, or the same, or any combination of personality traits that they wanted. This is the other World that is existing, like in a Harry Potter book, where there is a World of magic and also a World made up of reality, or what is percieved to be reality. Now imagine that there is this kid, and he somehow, maybe through a life changing event, is able to look through these Worlds, in bits and pieces of course, and somehow try to open the minds of others on it. This could be a cult classis ladies and gentelmen, something along the lines of "Diary of a Drug Fiend". Mr. Frank can probably back me up on that one. This idea is pattoned by Neil Rick today, tomorrow, and the next. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 13th, 2004
1:39 pm	I think it's over now. When you sit for long enough And tug at that string of hope Thinking of good times Forgotten loves And endless faith- It is then your mind is made for you When every breath can speak one word And you think of nothing else Being not here Finding a way And endless faith- It is then your mind is made for you Once you've lost all inspiration, Reaching for nothing in the dark, Repeating old lines Reciting old verse And feeling no more- It is then your wind has been taken. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
2:26 pm	I found out this morning that I have a problem with always falling for the wrong girl... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
3:59 pm	This is to all the things that go bump in the night- And to all those people who misuse this life, It is for you that I write this warning, for it is my strife. I've sat and watched with my two eyes Your blind and useless trust- How easily you play your lie, And try to hide your aching lust. Your life can't be happy, so uncomplete- And your heart must be battered, No longer to beat- But your world doesn't have to be shattered. We can glue back the pieces of your busted heart, Forming a union, never to part. "did't need no money, didn't need no time. I didn't need nothing but my own piece of mind to know that a voice like a whisper is bound to be heard. just for one moment, I'm the kind of the world." -Sam Bush (Comment on this)
Monday, July 5th, 2004
1:41 pm	I'm at a very strange point in life.. So last night I got home from Micah's house, where I did have a good time, and my mind kept moving, and thoughts kept on flowing. I wrote these to try to get in touch with what I was thinking about. I think they aren't all that good, they are very rough, but if you have something to say, not so much about them but maybe for me, please do. 2:00 I'm so confused: For I can feel you look at me And with my ears I hear your song for me, Yet with my eyes I see he- Who's story goes untold, And pasts have let you go- With hands enclosed on yours. My thoughts have doubled back, And now I'm starting from the start To re-locate your heart: And see where it will fall. 2:05 Once again my sky was sunsets And steady winds did blow, My ship was calmly resting Waiting for your soul- But soon my dawn did break In the middle of the night, And my ship was thrown from steady course- I fought with all my might. Yet in the darkness of the day I felt you close at hand, And from the darkness I remain Here to make my stand. I wont back down and lose this fight 'Cause I still feel the magic of that night. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
1:06 pm	There are so many people that I've missed out on seeing, and there are so many people that I've passed up on loving, but this time I dont want the chance to slip me by. There are times now and then when I just feel alone, there are times that I've left all you alone, but I don't want to be by myself anymore. I need to find the courage to act on emotions, and feed off of life, and love someone so deeply that I begin to lose sleep. Sometimes I think about the chances I've missed, and sometimes I pass them by on purpose and deny myself the unmistakable moments when life is being lived; and I pass these by for the protection of myself. Break down my walls, infiltrate my heart, and realease me from myself. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 31st, 2004
1:31 am	so ive written some more stuff since the last time, and i actually wrote these last night and tonight, both times were about 2. here they are, they are rough, but tell me what you think... My rains have stopped, Leaving me dry- I've been stripped of myself And I search again. This game of hide and seek, Playing it alone, With no one to find I walk in the darkness: But the time will come When that one will join me, And be found- Ending all games. This next one is a sonnet, maybe I'll call is "Dance" Tonight we dances For love of this life, And the joy of just living For a little while. We danced in a frolic, Turned numb from the cold, And worried our nipples might explode, But only for a little while. We sat under moonlight, Allowing conversation a chance to flow- Were draped in candle-light: It could only last for a little while. The storm will worsen as the night goes on, But for now, we dance. Thank you. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 28th, 2004
4:08 pm	for anybody who might still read this... arms draped across my shoulders find me as i want to be. seen through your eyes, a wish to talk for hours, allow conversation a chance to flow, words falling ceaselessly without thought. in the dark corners of smoke filled rooms nothing serious being muttered. minds and ears open filled with music never heard before. to know how friendship truly feels and experience this healing power to gain an understanding- i'd like to share a drink with you. As seen through rain streaked windows, unsure of what i see. pictures constantly change, movements never ceasing. reflections from this same window distort faces of fact that slip slowly down glass, and as scenes move on nothing seems as real as it once was. watery desires streaming make me want to be where i cannot. is this the same distorted moon? the same rain that falls, moving down mountains- and flooding all rivers. here I remain, boat dissappeared for the anchor has been lost, my heart to pay the cost. Maybe some comments? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2004
1:01 am	I just don't know what to say, and I think that has a deep meaning. (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 28th, 2003
1:26 am	extension i want to be daring i want to be open i want to be completely helpless i want to depend i want to trust i want to love again (Comment on this)
12:54 am	i want i want to be able to be a gymnist, to run and flip i want to be able to do a standing backflip i want to be able to look into somebody elses eyes and see passion i want to feel this passion also i want to feel hunger for another and be able to fill this i want to clean myself up i want to feel love, not just know its out there i want... (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 21st, 2003
12:14 am	once again it is a strange thing for me feeling these feelings again not for the one that ive loved but for a new one entering in i cannot say how long it will last nor do i know if it will truly begin the only clear thing i know is that there is something in this once again i have began to fall yet watching closely of myself i close my eyes, begin to think when will i let this out for these feelings true that i feel for you are held within my chest but soon enough it will be known i can only wish for the best things are good and i just wrote that. i dont think that its really all that good though cause it only took me 5 min and i dont quite think that it gets across what i am trying to say. in the past ive fallen too fast and im tring to watch myself this time, im trying to protect from what could happen. but the only thing i wonder, from me holding all this in, is has my shot already slipped by, or is there time to spare? while not being hasty i dont want to let this one pass me by. Batman (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 12th, 2003
12:01 am	a pleasant evening So tonight was good. It started with a light dish of "Lost in Translation" if you havent seen it then please do, it was delightful. Then I went and ate sushi, always good. Then after that I went a drank coffee, something Ive grown rather fond of in Chattanooga. On the way back to my friends house I had a good conversation, rather one sided but it was good nonetheless. I discussed my views on opening up, something that is rather hard, but is also rather important. I said that if you hold things in thats where they stay, inside of you and while they are there they just sit, and they grow, and whatever the problem will be it will multiply greatly. These things need to get out, in some form or another. Whether you write about it, like Ive done here, or you talk to somebody, or you write some silly little poem or song, they need to escape from the entrapment of the body and mind. I was also thinking to myself about how I try and help others a lot, and how I think that I might do this in a selfish way. Is t selfish if by helping others I think that I can somehow help myself? I do this by thinking that if I can help somebody else with something that they are going through then I get this kind of buzz from being a person who impacted somebody else, and I think that thats selfish. I dont know what to do about that. I also want to thank people who have listened to me when Ive needed it. To those people I cant express how much it has helped me to have somebody listen to what I say, and know that no matter what it is that I say they can hopefully understand slightly where I am comming from, and through that understanding and the insite that they have given me I have somehoe obtained a greater understanding of myself. That is something that Ive found kinda recently, I know who I am, for the most part, and that understanding has brought some true happiness into my life, becuase I think that happiness begins with knowing who you are, not necessarily where you are going but just who you are at that moment in time. I want to help people in some way, because Ive been helped in the past. Thanks to all, or at least most of you non assholes. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 14th, 2003
3:46 pm	I wake with a tear in my eye. As it falls I wonder why it is that I feel this way? Why can't I move on? Being oversome by something that I thought I had overcome. I can't stop this thing and I can't live with it either. I have to. I need to. I don't want to. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 8th, 2003
3:41 pm	seriousness seriousness comes when you least expect it, when you think nothing can come of anything. seriousness comes when things are looking down, and you cannot see out. It comes in the middle of the night when you feel that the morning is days away. This little train of thought came from nothing but a simple comment from a friend. And while I have no problems with seriousness I can provide others with warnings. Try not to become too attached at this small stage in your life, the outcome is usually not good. Seriousness is a delightful bitch that intertwines herself with you never to let go. But that is not true for me to say. While you are intangled and things have turned for the darker side again seriousness will slowly, as in not quickly, let you go. You begin to gasp for air and soon enough you have found your feet again. And while the sky will look dark for you on a sunny day, know that the sun is out there. know that somewhere, sometime, somebody has that sun and shines it brightly. The journey begins, the search is on. Find the sun, look for it under rocks, it can be found. While the point is hard to find here let me simplify myself...Enjoy life while life is enjoyable. Try to not become too tangled up in things that you entangle yourself with this delightful bitch. Try to just relax. Put you feet in a river, or a lake and let them sit there. those are the things you should be serious about, not the meaningless points of life. Believe that things are good. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 17th, 2003
11:04 am	Why cant I stop this beating of my heart? It beats by instinct for something that feels so true. It beats by instinct and only for you. I can try to turn my back, but it always turns back I try to hide the fact from myself These facts come back tenfold I cant figure out why I do what I do The only thing I know is how I feel about you. Why cant I stop this beating of my heart? The constant pounding that seems not to stop. As I sit in the dark of my room my thoughts are filled with you Even in the dark I see a light shining through I look up at the stars and dream that you are too I cry to myself because I know its not true The only thing I know is how I feel about you Why cant I stop this beating of my heart? This was written for all my friends. Now there are some specific parts in there but please know that I would put yall before myself anytime. Please never feel scared to talk to me and know that I will understand. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 15th, 2003
6:29 pm	enough is enough and ive had enough (Comment on this)
12:26 am	This one is for you I am regretfull for the things that I have done. However, these things cannot be undone. I hope that one day I can be forgiven, but this is not my choice to make. If you read this and you know what I mean, then it was for you, I hope you can see. Please correct me for what I have done. Once again I'm sorry, please be able to understand my wrongs... -Batman (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 9th, 2003
12:12 pm	moods I'm in a really strange mood. Tonight is going to be nice, and fun, but in the last about 3 days I've thought about myself, what I know and what I feel and it makes me just kinda feel strange. I know that things are over, I know that it is pointless but I cannot help but feel this strange feelings of being incredibly helpless. I can't change things and I know that fact. I've never quite felt like this before though and the newness does not sit well with me.. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
4:27 pm	nightmares? I had a dream It involved you I had a dream I don't know what to do Eventhough it scared me It excited me too I had a dream and it involved you. I think these thoughts I don't know what to do It confuses me It involved you Help me understand I don't know if its true I had a dream and it involved you. If this dream comes up again Then what do I do? Can't shake these thoughts from my head They are about you Can you help me to know Just what should I do? I had a dream and it involved you. (Comment on this)